When Words Fail (Me)

Writers have a blind spot. We depend too much on words. Memory: I am standing with my back to the front door. I am standing between the person I am in love with, and the way out. The person I am in love with wants out. I am convinced that, if I can just find the […]

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Perspectives

In the summer of 2002 I attended Tarot Week at Diana’s Grove. Early in the week each person drew a major arcana card to embody for the week. I drew the Hanged One. I was a tarot novice, (still mostly am actually) and the prospect was pretty daunting but I was working towards earning my […]

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Just Be Company

Sometimes, comfort isn’t comforting. Sometimes, I can’t hear you when you tell me everything will be all right. Sometimes, when you offer comfort, I feel unseen. Unseen in my rage, despair, grief. Or that you want me to pretend that my rage, despair, grief, are like good-but-grumpy cats that can be distracted with a saucer […]

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Find the thing

It’s an interesting time in my world. Sitting down to write I find I don’t have a whole lot of words. I’m mostly intrigued by the new connections happening between my mind, body and spirit. I started practicing Qi Gong on my own via YouTube about 3 weeks ago. I’m doing 20 minutes every morning […]

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More on Moving: Reclaiming Denial

I am moving, from one house to another. Something I did very frequently as a child and young adult, then about every five years in my 30’s and 40’s. Every time I say I’m never doing this again. Making that promise to myself, a promise I know I will not keep, has become a ritual. […]

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Sandpaper and Tingchas

It as only a few weeks ago I was waiting for Spring and reminding myself I believe and trust in cycles. Spring was taking its sweet time. It seems it came and went in a flash, a couple of days at best and then full on heat of summer. The heat of August came in […]

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House for Rent in the Bardo: River View

I’m moving, again. And so I’m thinking about bardo states. Bardo is a Tibetan word that literally translates as the interval between two things. It is traditionally associated with the space between death and rebirth. While most people agree that moving (what my Brit friends call “moving house” or, sometimes, “moving home”) is stressful, I’m not trying […]

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Waiting for Spring

I’m still waiting for Spring.  I’m waiting for that thing Spring does where it begins to warm the soil (me) and slowly cracks the seed open (again me). The seed cracks and the tender green shoot slowly pushes up towards the sunlight. Breaks through the earth’s crust and reaches to the light and grows and […]

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The Apple Orchard

At long last, at least here in Chicago, I feel like it’s safe to say that Spring has arrived. We had a mild winter, but a long one, and one that seemed to drag on without those our breaks of a day or two shocking warmth in the middle of February to serve as a […]

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