When Words Fail (Me)

Writers have a blind spot. We depend too much on words. Memory: I am standing with my back to the front door. I am standing between the person I am in love with, and the way out. The person I am in love with wants out. I am convinced that, if I can just find the […]

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Perspectives

In the summer of 2002 I attended Tarot Week at Diana’s Grove. Early in the week each person drew a major arcana card to embody for the week. I drew the Hanged One. I was a tarot novice, (still mostly am actually) and the prospect was pretty daunting but I was working towards earning my […]

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Just Be Company

Sometimes, comfort isn’t comforting. Sometimes, I can’t hear you when you tell me everything will be all right. Sometimes, when you offer comfort, I feel unseen. Unseen in my rage, despair, grief. Or that you want me to pretend that my rage, despair, grief, are like good-but-grumpy cats that can be distracted with a saucer […]

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Act like it

“You have tools. Act like it.” These words, spoken to me by a friend some years ago in that delightfully direct way that some friends can pull off because of the time they’ve put in or simply because of their nature, have been up for me quite a bit recently. My paid work has been […]

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Goodbyes

Stepping across the threshold from summer to fall, I am experiencing many sad goodbyes at our local Tower Grove Farmer’s Market. Here at the end of the growing season I know that I won’t be seeing many of these farmers until next spring. The time has come to say goodbye to the juiciest local peaches […]

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Find the thing

It’s an interesting time in my world. Sitting down to write I find I don’t have a whole lot of words. I’m mostly intrigued by the new connections happening between my mind, body and spirit. I started practicing Qi Gong on my own via YouTube about 3 weeks ago. I’m doing 20 minutes every morning […]

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More on Moving: Reclaiming Denial

I am moving, from one house to another. Something I did very frequently as a child and young adult, then about every five years in my 30’s and 40’s. Every time I say I’m never doing this again. Making that promise to myself, a promise I know I will not keep, has become a ritual. […]

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On Kindness

I was seven years old when my family lost our home to a fire. It was around 11pm on an early February night in Nebraska, so you can imagine how bitterly cold it was. I vividly recall standing barefoot in a snowdrift that was at least six inches high at our designated emergency meeting place […]

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