The End?

“Remind me,” I ask Her, “about endings.” She is patient. There’s something to be said for talking with the Timeless. She doesn’t seem to mind going over this again. “Endings don’t exist,” She reminds me. “The word itself is meaningless. It’s the label you give to change you don’t want. Change you do want, you […]

Read More

We Can Do This Much

I’m home again. Barely. Not quite 24 hours as I write this. Still in the after-aura of the intensity of an intensive. My house looks only vaguely familiar to me. I’ve forgotten (temporarily I hope) where some of the neighborhood landmarks are. Mythic space is real. And it lingers. Almost two weeks ago I was […]

Read More

And Now I Have New Work To Do…

I’ve been thinking about Vulnerability, lately.  I know it’s a triggering word, for some. That it has connotations of submission, even victimhood. A state of being unprotected. Targeted for abuse. Some people use that word most often in reference to “vulnerable populations,” groups that are actually in need of our protection. Their vulnerability is problematic. […]

Read More

It’s a Mystery

As I sit down to write this blog post, I’ve just returned from celebrating Mardi Gras in my relatively new hometown of New Orleans. I still have about half of my body paint on. I’ll be months getting rid of all the glitter. I had the most joyful day, today. And I want to tell […]

Read More

When Words Fail (Me)

Writers have a blind spot. We depend too much on words. Memory: I am standing with my back to the front door. I am standing between the person I am in love with, and the way out. The person I am in love with wants out. I am convinced that, if I can just find the […]

Read More

Just Be Company

Sometimes, comfort isn’t comforting. Sometimes, I can’t hear you when you tell me everything will be all right. Sometimes, when you offer comfort, I feel unseen. Unseen in my rage, despair, grief. Or that you want me to pretend that my rage, despair, grief, are like good-but-grumpy cats that can be distracted with a saucer […]

Read More

More on Moving: Reclaiming Denial

I am moving, from one house to another. Something I did very frequently as a child and young adult, then about every five years in my 30’s and 40’s. Every time I say I’m never doing this again. Making that promise to myself, a promise I know I will not keep, has become a ritual. […]

Read More

House for Rent in the Bardo: River View

I’m moving, again. And so I’m thinking about bardo states. Bardo is a Tibetan word that literally translates as the interval between two things. It is traditionally associated with the space between death and rebirth. While most people agree that moving (what my Brit friends call “moving house” or, sometimes, “moving home”) is stressful, I’m not trying […]

Read More