Turn the mirror around

I will admit that I don’t have very many words this week. Life has been challenging for me on a number of levels (and the week is only half over.) I had to make a very hard decision recently, and even though I know it’s the right thing to do for everyone concerned, I am still sitting in a place of shame and despair as a result. I have the support and validation of several friends and family members, but it doesn’t change the emotional toll the choice has taken. I’m going to be vague about what it is, because it’s still quite tender and hard for me to face. I’m fine – I’m just aware that my heart hurts.

So, I don’t have many words. But, I did want to share one very powerful question that I received from a beloved in case it is a useful tool for someone else. As I was struggling with whether or not to move forward with this hard decision, he said, “Imagine that the tables were turned, and I was the one dealing with this. What would you tell me?”

That changed everything. Once I was able to give compassion and support to someone else, it was a no-brainer. The hard part was then turning that compassion and support back on myself. Turning the mirror around is such a simple tool, and yet I often forget that I have access to it.

So here is a gentle reminder to me, and anyone else who may be struggling. Sometimes, self care looks like asking hard questions. Sometimes, self care looks like making heart-wrenching decisions. Sometimes, compassion looks like boundaries. Sometimes, peace comes only after facing heartache. Sometimes, choosing what is best for myself means opening the door to disappointment for others.

I believe self love is worth the effort, even when the challenges feel insurmountable.

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4 thoughts on “Turn the mirror around

  1. Jo January 9, 2019


  2. Janice H Chadha January 10, 2019

    Hugs and unrelenting support! Do what you need to do to take care of yourself/situation…Self-compassion is still compassion.

  3. Paulita January 12, 2019


  4. davis January 15, 2019

    I found myself feeling a need to reconnect. If there is anything i can do let me know please. I am holding you gently in my heart and mind.


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