The body offers much wisdom
Last Wednesday morning I woke up to my sweet, handsome baby boy of 18 years having lost the
use of his right hind leg. Our wonderful vet believes a clot lodged in Conrad’s spinal cord and that additional clots would follow. I made what I know was the right decision, not the easy one, but the right one. To say it has been a hard, well, that doesn’t even come close to describing this past week. Conrad was my companion of 18 years and there will never be another being like him. That I know.
For several months I have been exploring what knowledge my body holds. This exploration has been mysterious and full of wisdom at the same time. It has taken my breath away and had me laughing out loud. For years I have known the body holds muscle memory and releasing this can be very healing. What I had not known until recently is my body, my Animal Soul has wisdom to share with me if I make room to listen. If I ask questions, answers do come.
My body reaches for him. I was surprised the first time this happened, but it is undeniably true. We were connected at a previously unknown or at least unacknowledged cellular level it seems. I feel it happen over and over again, this reaching out. It is different than when I hear a sound and think it must be him or open the door and expect to see him. This happens when I am in the bathroom brushing my teeth and I feel from my side an energetic reaching out to connect with him. It happens when I am sitting on the couch reading a book and this time the energetic reaching comes from the front of me. It happens both when I think about him, but more often when I am not. I believe our love for each other was so deep and unconditional that our energetic bodies always stayed in touch. Now mine is reaching out to find what was always there but is now different. We seem to always reach for the familiar don’t we? I believe there will be a new familiar. I will not dishonor this experience by telling myself it isn’t real. I will keep letting myself reach for him and let this connection continue to teach me. He taught me much about loyalty. About friendship. About love. About endurance. About trust. I want to know what he has to teach me now. I want to experience what our new connection will be.
May he and my body’s wisdom continue to be my teachers.
This post was written by Elizabeth Wilson