The Story I Am Telling

I am fascinated by and reluctant to accept how my life seems to follow predictable patterns. I am truly a watery being. I make that statement as an astrological reference, though I acknowledge that we humans do seem to be largely made of water. Being born under a Pisces sun, with a Cancer mid-heaven and a Scorpio moon, I flow through life. I am most comfortable moving with the metaphoric tides, following what seems to be the open way in terms of the practical aspects of day-to-day life. When I find myself fighting against that, all is a struggle and often no good comes of it. Letting go, allowing and trusting that all will unfold in some divine order typically works best.

Except when it doesn’t.

Because sometimes life seems to flow over me, or maybe it over-flows me. I get caught up in the details of each little thing, somehow believing that my hands are required to bring order to chaos. Perhaps it is the position of my sun in the Sixth House or my Libra-rising influence that brings on those urges. Astrological impact or not, I do find myself in a repeated pattern.

The pattern takes me from a state of discontent, most often triggered by external circumstances that seem to be interfering with how I want to live my life. I feel irritated, stretched beyond my capacity to serve and unable to care for myself well. Following a series of shifts and changes involving choices around time and resources, I begin to face and learn from the challenges. I seek out alliances for support and influence. And finally I experience resolution; a return of balance and harmony.

It sure sounds obvious, even simple. But when I am in that story, I don’t remember it. Frustrating! I just get caught up in it all and forget that, not only is it a pattern that will resolve and repeat, but that I do have some choice in things.

I am the author of my story. I get to tell it how I choose. And I want to remember to tell a good one; a story full of action and adventure, yes, but one that always points the way home to myself, to my potential and growth, to my greatest aliveness. I want to tell a fantastic story that begs retelling. How about you? What follows your “Once Upon a Time…” ?

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3 thoughts on “The Story I Am Telling

  1. Becky Ardrey August 7, 2013

    Wow…a timely and relevant post. The theme of frustration and what the root cause of it is, has been prevalent in conversation this past week. Thank you for giving me yet another dimension to consider.

    I often reference things that you taught me (and that I rebelled against)! It is an honor to have been your student . All the best to you and your endeavors.


    • Lucinda August 7, 2013

      Yeah, well I recognize rebellion as one way of learning. Sometimes ya gotta push against something to understand it; find its edges, look at all of the angles.
      Personally I wish I could always choose ahead of time the lens I am looking at life through. It would remind me of who I really am, why I am here this time around, lessons I supposedly have learned, those sorts of things. How handy it would be to reference that information in real time, before I get too far down the reactivity road.
      All the best to you on the journey!

  2. Autumn August 9, 2013

    Very interesting, thank you for giving me something to ponder today .


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